Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Wishcasting Wednesday - On Becoming


Jamie's question today for Wishcasting Wednesday is:

What do you wish to become?

There are a host of things I could answer here but in keeping with one of my recent posts I will say this:

My son turned eighteen in January and you'd think I would have it figured out by now but what our kids need from us sometimes changes. Some things should be constant, like the values we try to instill in them, hopefully visible in the way we live our lives. But as our kids get older and learn to tie their shoes, say please and thank you, ride a bike, finish homework first, be considerate on a date and fill out a resume, we parents need to be creative in our responses and approach while raising them.

I'm reaching the point now that many parents would have reached at an earlier age with their child, and I hope I can handle it as gracefully as some. How do I let go? How do I hold on to the bond my son and I share, yet help him separate from me and become his own man? In my head, I'm fairly certain I know what to do, but my heart? My son has what a therapist called a "Peter Pan complex," meaning he hasn't, up until now, wanted to grow up. It was just the two of us for many years and his preoccupation with me has been almost obsessive in nature. But, now, something has changed, clicked, become clear for him and he is now looking forward. It makes me feel good that he seems to have turned this corner but now I have to prepare myself for what must always come: the time when our children go up and begin to lead their own lives.

I wish to become the mother my son needs to help him gain independence and become a strong, confident young man.

13 comments:

  1. what a truly beautiful wish! the simple fact that you are aware of what you need/want to do for your son as he enters adulthood tells me that you will do your very best to make your wish come true! every child should have a parent who thinks so deeply about such things. as pamela wishes for herself so i wish for her!

    olwyn

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  2. As pamela wishes for herself so i wish for her!

    I so relate to this post! It's been just me & my daughter forever. She's 12 and while I want her to grow into her own person, I don't know who it's going to be harder on to cut the apron strings...me or her?

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  3. As Pamela wishes for herself, so I wish for her!

    Visiting from Starshyne. You have a very lovely blog here.

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  4. As Pamela wishes for herself, so I wish for her!

    I'm going through what you are. My son has been making plans to move to Alabama to move in with a room mate. He's turning 19 this summer. Although I am proud of him, I know that I have to prepare to let him go. I am already feeling the anxiety of *will he be alright?", *Is he eating?" *Is he warm?" etc..

    It's something that comes in time, I believe and the only thing I can do is to let him know that he has my support, and my love always. The rest, I have to take care of, myself.

    I wish you love, strength, and happiness~

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  5. As Pamela wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

    What a beautiful wish. So far outside my own life experience, but I have a good feeling about you both.

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  6. As Pamela wishes for herself and her son, so I wish also.

    Without doubt a wish as heartfelt as that will find its way to blooming.

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  7. As Pamela wishes for herself and her so, so I wish also.~*

    What a lucky humanling he is to have a mother that cares so deeply for him. :)

    Much Joy~*
    Molly

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  8. As Pamela wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

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  9. As I wish for your wishes to come true, you can also pick up your Award on my Blog at:

    http://creativesoulexplosion.blogspot.com/2009/02/art-award.html

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  10. What a loving wish.

    And what a joyful, yet heart hurting time for you.

    Dignity and grace. Those were the two things I asked for when it came time to let them 'be' all that they were designed TO be. I just wanted to be able to do it with a bit of dignity and grace.

    Not sure I accomplished that....LOL...but I did give it a good go. As I'm sure you will as well.

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  11. My "late bloomer" will leave for college in the summer(he'll get his AA in May) It will be hard letting go. Your loving words speak volumes.

    As Pamela wishes for herself, so I wish for her also

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  12. as pamela wishes for herself, i wish for her as well (and as a mother myself i understand)

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Thank you for your comments. They certainly brighten my day!